What was told you before about saying "please" was true. It intrigued Roberts, as did Bob's descriptions of gravity’s beauty. Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, "All right, Bob, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night, Bob. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for Bob. He was learning to fence, fight, anything anyone would teach Bob. And Roberts and Bob eventually became friends. And then it happened. Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. So he took Bob to his cabin and told Bob his secret. "I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts," he said. "My name is Ryan. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts, either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia." Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Bob. So they sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew, and he stayed aboard for a while as first mate, all the time calling Bob Roberts. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and Bob has been Roberts ever since.

Ah. Princess Bride. It all floods back so delightfully. I mean it.

i got 30 seconds (time elapsed)